I'm always super excited to bring guests on to my podcast and introduce you to new people and the amazing work they are doing. And Jessica Pass is one of those amazing people that I have been wanting to bring on for a while.
I first met Jessica in August of 2005 when we both entered into Fuller Theological Seminary's MFT program in the same cohort. We spent the next couple of years sharing classes, studying, and learning from each other. Since then we have gone on to become really good friends and colleagues, and she is one of the people that I almost inevitably call up when I have questions about my practice or therapy.
Jessica has a private practice in Houston, Texas where she specializes in several things, but is really passionate about her work with women and teen girls. She also has trained in Brene Brown's the Daring Way, as well as recently being trained as a yoga instructor to help her in her work of yoga therapy.
In this episode we explore:
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People and Resources Mentioned in this Episode
One of the most powerful and life shaping influences in our lives is our family of origin. It is the primary context in which we develop, and that development continues on through the rest of our lives...this is the reason I decided to talk about this topic on this weeks podcast. Lots of people that I work with in my counseling practice in Plano, Texas, or in organizations and churches, often fail to take into account just how powerful one's family of origin is on their lives. Sure, they are aware of the fact that their family shapes them, but often we assume that as we get older we somehow grow out of that, or are better able to make different choices. But the reality is, what we learned in childhood is just repeated in adulthood, unless we identify the pattern, practice awareness around it, and begin to create intentional change. That just takes time and practice.
In this episode I explore:
Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.
Resources Mentioned in the Episode
Restoration Therapy by Terry Hargrave Murray Bowen Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert Genogram GenoPro (not mentioned in episode but great tool)
"The people who are having the greatest impact are the people who have heaps of this one thing... Trust." (Learning to Master the Art of Trust, pp. 1)
You may recognize Aubrey's name from episode 14 which was a very popular episode. In that episode we explored his family's move to Tennessee from Texas last year and their reasons behind that: a desire for family togetherness, simplifying life, and leaving margin for exploration. These reasons really resonated with many of you and led to some great discussions and life changes for some of you.
So I was super excited to bring Aubrey back on to the show with the release of his new book, Mastering the Art of Trust. Trust is a foundational aspect of healthy relationships, and without it...well, it is hard to create a safe environment for people to thrive. Trust is something that almost every person I work with in counseling explores at some point, and it often becomes the key issue on whether or not they can move forward in specific relationships. But trust just isn't confined to family relationships, marriage and dating, but is an important component in any organization structure.
I am very thankful that Aubrey decided to tackle such an important topic and write about it in such a succint and powerful way. What I love about the book is the depth to which Aubrey explores trust in a minimalist approach. This book is not some long tome on trust, but a manifesto with immediate real world assessment and application.
In this episode we explore:
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Mastering the Art of Trust: Unlocking the Power of Your Greatest Conribution
It is not unusual for me to be sitting across from a man in my therapy office as he relays to me the story about when he first learned that it was not okay for boys to cry. It is usually a very powerful moment. I have heard men of all ages and backgrounds tell this story. And though the characters and contexts are different, the take away message is always the same. It is not safe for men to show emotions.
One of the more powerful moments came in my work with a man in his 70's as he recalled with tears in his eyes that incident 70 years earlier when his father told him to stop crying. That event was 70 years ago and it had a profound shaping affect on that man's understanding of masculinity and what defines it.
I am super passionate about helping men identify their feelings. Because if a man can identify them, understand them, name them...have words and language for them...he often begins to not only understand himself better, but so do those people in relationship with him. He begins to own his own story in the words of Brene Brown in Rising Strong. And once he can begin to identify his feelings then we are off and running. He then learns to be able to connect those feelings to the negative coping behaviors that he has probably, and automatically, operated out of most of his life. And it's this awareness that I know eventually leads to powerful change for that man. For without the awareness, one cannot change.
I've seen men's lives changed in this process and it has changed my life as well. So it's important to me to help you better understand why men have a hard time connecting to their emotions, and what role you may play in that for good or bad.
In this episode I explore:
Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy (blog post)
What it Means to be a Man: God's Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes by Rhett Smith
I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terence Real